Top 30 Ways My Current Office Is Just Like The Daycare I Used To Work At

“Forever young, I want to be forever young.” Alphaville

30. Not being allowed to do anything
29. Falling down a lot
28. Accusing others of “faking” when they’ve been out sick
27. Abundant tattling
26. Talking louder than a sonic boom
25. Calling their mom when they forgot their lunch
24. Crying
23. Making others cry
22. Playing in the urinals and sinks, then lying about it
21. Being cranky because they stayed up too late watching Darkwing Duck
20. Nose-picking
19. Thumb-sucking
18. Falling asleep anywhere they find themselves at the moment, including, and in some cases especially, the bathroom
17. Bizarre sense of entitlement
16. Offering best friendship in exchange for stupid stuff
15. Believing they are good dancers, and that others would love to see proof
14. Keeping secrets nobody gives a crap about
13. Using derogatory terms, then pretending not to know what they mean
12. Gratuitous use of “you’re not the boss of me”
11. Laughing at jokes they don’t get
10. Telling jokes they don’t get
9. Adorable crushes on people who are way out of their league
8. Dressing up like Spiderman
7. Fearing the roar of the auto-flush toilets
6. Spilling dirty information about their parents
5. Disinviting evil-doers to their “birthday”
4. Refusing to stay in timeout
3. Descending on free candy like sleazy photogs on a sex-addicted golfer
2. Fabricating trips to Disneyland
1. Not knowing how to drive